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Dogs weren't banished from Paradise- they followed us voluntarily.
Some days it's not worth sneaking past the guards.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a raise.
When God gave humans dominion over animals, He intended for us to care for them.
If you can't forgive and forget, just pick one.
Don't mess with me. I'm in the donut hole.
Antisocial Influencer
Most men who chat with you on the Internet look like me.
Old men miss many dogs.
This is what happens when football coaches teach history and civics.
It's not one thing after another, it's the same thing over and over.
The outpatients are out in force.
Never attribute to malice that which can blamed on stupidity.
I was told there would be jet packs.
The future ain't what it used to be.
As a matter of fact, I *AM* the boss of you.
Your opinion matters. But not to me.
I want both sides to lose.
Dyslexics have more fnu.
Thank God Only One Of Them Can Win!
My favorite color is ultraviolet. It glows with everything.
I, myself, am strange and unusual.
You shall be avenged.
A beard covers a multitude of chins.
ElderNerd: My first programming language was solder.
How many rodeos do you need before you know what you're doing?
Everything will work out in the end, but couldn't something work out in the beginning, just once?
God is dead. Marx is dead. And I'm not doing so well myself.
And God said: E = .mv.- Ze./r and there was light.
Allergic to dust, mold, penicillin, and most non-human lifeforms.
It's a delusion of grandeur only if you can't pull it off.
Too old for early onset anything...
Are you making toast, or am I having a stroke?
There's nothing wrong with you that an antidepressant and a croquet mallet wouldn't fix.
Save Democracy Vote Blue
U.S. Constitution on religion
I cannot change the laws of physics
If my answers frighten you, then don't ask scary questions.
I See Dense People.
Picked last in gym.
Too many clowns, not enough circuses.
If it ain't broke, you're not running the current release.
And which dwarf are you?
I don't mind being in touch with reality as long as I don't have to live there.
I'll be awake soon...
I've been ionized, but I'm okay now.
Eff The Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable