Master of Obsolete Technology
Women
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Tipping is not a city in China
Your silence will not protect you.
ACRONYM A Contrived Regime Of Nomenclature, Yielding Mnemonics.
Left wing liberal nut job
Life is not a dress rehearsal.
The world is a grindstone and life is your nose.
The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly deceived.
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The only way to fail at life is to abstain.
The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.
Should I cross this bridge, or should I burn it?
That's the whole secret of life. Life is a series of dogs.
Nothing in life is certain except Negative Patient Care Outcome and Revenue Enhancement
Not even God can change the past.
Life is too short to drink the house wine.
Life is short. Eat dessert first.
Life is a fractal in Hilbert space.
Life is a four-letter word.
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it
Hope for the best, expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.
Art is too long and life is too short.
The cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going down.
The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
Bad candidates are elected by good voters who don't vote.
In nature, stupidity gets you killed. In the workplace, it gets you fired. In politics, it gets you re-elected.
Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.
At least in the '60s we had good music.
The problem isn't the grinches who steal Christmas, it's the grinches who celebrate it.
Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!
A good conscience is a continual Christmas
May all your Christmases be white.
It's not premarital sex If you don't get married.
Life is a recursive plunge.
No problem is unsolvable, but some aren't worth the effort.
AUTODIDACT (Look it up.)
The Internet is run by a guy named Heisenberg, and his principles are uncertain.
What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.
We're mammals one-half chromosome away from chimpanzees, and it shows.
When ignorance is considered patriotism, it is unsafe to be smart.
The easiest way to solve a problem is to deny it exists.
Sorry, I've sworn only to use my powers for good.
Life is pleasnt. Death is tranquil. It's the transition that sucks.
I'm so horny the crack of dawn isn't safe.
My sexual preference is Not You.
Sentience is an accident of evolution, and not necessarily a good thing.
I'm behind the metric system every inch of the way
Take a look around. Want to leave now?